


想いは届いてるのかな？ (Does my thought reach you?)

by moondancerfay



Category: GOT7, markgyeom - Fandom
Genre: Break Up, Ficlet, Heartbreak, M/M, Song memories, letting go eventually, love and memories live on within a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29108460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondancerfay/pseuds/moondancerfay
Summary: Got7's song "I won't let you go" tribute in the form of Yugyeom reminiscing his and Mark's time together, writing a song for them in memory of what they had.
Relationships: Kim Yugyeom/Mark Tuan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	想いは届いてるのかな？ (Does my thought reach you?)

It was night and the beautiful Apgujeong skyline and Han River could be seen from his wide glass windows.  
Yugyeom watched an American series because an American friend recommended it to him. At the end of the first episode he started to cry. On screen two men kissing. It was so normal in their world, so abnormal in his own. Dalkyum jumped onto the sofa and made its way to Yugyeom’s side. The younger silently cried, because he was suddenly overwhelmed with memories and his feelings that he was so good in locking away for such a long time. It hurt less over time, he slowly could forget his love to the one person who was able to open his heart. The little black dog put its front paws onto the dancer’s shoulder and licked the salty droplets from his cheeks, which made the young singer smile. He stroked the fluffy fur and was happy to not be alone. The past was long gone and his feelings snuffed out like an outburned candle. 

The youngest Got7 member leaned back and tried to remember only the most beautiful moments he had with his fellow member of the group. Memories flashed in front of his eyes. The mornings in hotel rooms, when Mark looked like an angel in the brilliant light of dawn. It always took his breath away how beautiful the Californian boy was. He understood all the screaming girls and his loyal fans. Yugyeom was extremely thankful that this man entered his life and that he was able to be with him in so many ways others could not. He loved to trace patterns on the other’s pale skin and make him smile, it was something only them two were able to share. 

He remembered the stares in the waiting rooms, the intense gazes on stage and the touches every here and there. They were always private, not even their own group members knew. That was their agreement. It turned out to be a bad decision, because one wanted to be freer, the other wanted to be closer. In the end, it didn’t work out and the maknae learned the pain when one gives his whole heart. Over time, Yugyeom had to tell himself that his racing heart whenever the older was close and his positive mood shifts when Mark entered a room were not allowed. He chained his heart, denied every feeling and it hurt. It hurt for a very long time, but eventually he got over it and his dog was part of his healing process.

He had a lot of sleepless nights. When he lay awake for many hours staring at the ceiling, recalling their last night in Fukuoka, he never wanted this particular night to end. They made love like never before and Yugyeom told Mark how much he loved him - truly loved him. But, early next morning, the sun was streaming into the room, covering their naked bodies wrapped in sheets, limbs entangled, Mark decided it was time to let go. Mark said in a very low, deep voice, avoiding to look at the other, “I can’t do this anymore” which made Yugyeom sit up. “Do what? Love me?” Mark stayed silent. He knew how much the younger loved him, but he didn’t want to give him any hopes. What they were doing was not right on many levels, they brought themselves in a difficult position and he thought the only right decision was letting go of Yugyeom, even though it ripped a whole into his own heart. The maknae looked at him and his eyes swam in tears. He felt his chest aching. How could the elder do that? Did he not enjoy what they had, was he not good enough? So many questions filled his mind and he could only say “I won’t let you go, hyung.” Mark suddenly hugged him tight and mumbled against his long neck. Countless sweet words, trying to make the younger understand that what they had was a mere dream and that they could not fit their love for each other into the real world. It left Yugyeom devastated until the very day, but later on he understood the elder’s intentions and he was somehow grateful to him that he was the strong one to break them up.  
This experience made him realize that sometimes, no matter how hard it is, you have to let go the one you love. Yugyeom didn’t want to believe that it was over what they had. He longed for the other every day and it was especially hard when they travelled to Japan, because this was the place where they always had been the closest. He watched the sky every day to look for answers in the clouds, in the dark, in the clear blue sky. There were none. It was crystal clear: even though he didn’t want to let him go, he had to.

What stayed were the feelings that Mark made Yugyeom feel and he put them into writing. Yugyeom never told anyone, but he wrote a set of lyrics to hand to their manager to pass it on and out of it came a song that will forever stay with them. In his heart, the maknae knew that Mark got the lyrics on a different level. There will never be a time when Yugyeom sang this very special song that wouldn’t drive tears into his eyes. Mark always inspired him to be a better version of himself. When their oldest member was around, Yugyeom felt seen and it is a blessing that Mark sometimes asked if he is okay, even though he was not for a very long time and asked himself often if Mark thought of him even a little. Their legacy, the time they had together, will forever live on in the lyrics and sad melody of this very special song only two people in this world can fully understand.


End file.
